It’s hard to put into words exactly what grief is because it is so different for each person, but yet it’s so universal. Simply stated, grief is a normal response to loss—any loss. It is a process in which deep sorrow is felt for the purpose of letting go of what was to make room for something new. It can be letting go of an unhealthy relationship to make room for a new, healthy one or it can be letting go of the relationship you had with someone and forming a new relationship with that person. Just because you lose someone to death doesn’t mean you can’t still have a continuing bond with them because love never dies. And sometimes, you just need to feel all the feels because denying your feelings will only cause them to grow and come out in other ways.

So much of grief is simply about love. Let’s face it, you don’t grieve someone with whom you are indifferent. You grieve those who have affected your heart—for good or for bad—but on some level you loved them. That’s why grief cannot only be processed cognitively; it involves the use of your emotions which may feel like they are all over the place.

No one truly understands grief until they experience it. This means you will need have grace for yourself and grace for others. But know this, if you are experiencing grief, it is because you have loved. And the greater the love, the greater the loss will affect you.

In I Corinthians 15, the Apostle Paul points out that death stings, at least temporarily. It’s painful, and it’s normal to feel that pain. Know that it won’t sting for eternity because God has overcome death and ultimately – that gives us hope! But when you experience loss, it hurts and you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t.

I want you to know that you are not alone even though your feelings may tell you differently. I’m here to walk this journey with you, and most importantly, God is with you. He promises to never leave you or forsake you [Deuteronomy 31:6]. Just know that the path is dark right now which may keep you from seeing Him; but make no mistake, He is there.

As we journey together in this space, know that it will take time to heal; but it will not be time alone. It’s grace and truth over time that brings growth and healing. You will never get over your grief, but you will learn to incorporate it into your life so that it is no longer a crushing weight.

Know that I’m here with you. I’m praying for you. I’m here to support you. And there are others on this journey who will support you as well. Together, we can get to the other side of your grief. Together we will rise from the ashes and see the beauty of the Lord in this place [Isaiah 61:3].